I figured out a way to put into words the way I view the world now. And in fact, it's kind of an interesting thought for all of us, I think.
We've all heard this:
"Treat others as you would like to be treated."
It's known as the Golden Rule. It is all over Greek philosophy. Most of the major world religions have a very similar thought, usually summed up in a phrase like the one above. For example, the version of the Golden Rule in Christianity is found in Matthew 7:12a, which reads, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." We have been taught this since we were kids, in Sunday school, the playground, when you share your gum with the wholeeee class. If everyone just followed the Golden Rule, what a perfect world this world would be.
But what if we don't all want to be treated the same way? Herein lies the problem. Some people like when they are the center of attention, while others want to be left alone. Some people would rather everyone suck up to them and make everything sunny, while others would like honesty, no matter how brutal. Not all of us want the same treatment, making treating someone the way we want to be treated kind of stupid, egocentrical and hard to compromise. Everyone happy would be, "Treat others as they would like to be treated." I wonder if that would make you truly happy, however, as you are too busy trying to please everyone to focus on yourself, and to get in touch with yourself.
It is in this way that I am mixed up. I am following the Golden Rule, more than most people I know, but because the way I want to be treated is a little quirky and weird, I come off looking like a spaz at times. For example, sometimes I enjoy people being a little bitter and sarcastic. It's really funny to me, especially if that person has some wit. As such, I am bitter and sarcastic whenever I feel like it. Which is very often. It is very unreasonable to think that everyone I'm around to be in the mood for that. Most of the time it comes across as bitching. Sometimes I like to be left alone... and so I leave everyone alone. This is also not okay with most people, I have found.
So what's the plan? Follow the Golden Rule, almost selfishly it appears, or treat everyone the way they want to be treated and miss out on personal growth?
O scriptures, be more obvious.
Love,
Charlie
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3 comments:
mark 12:30-31 brings some clarity on that i think. itdiscusses what jesus called, "the most important commandments." 1st-love God. 2nd-love your neighbor as yourself. the second is the same idea you're talking about but phrased a little different for what i believe is greater understanding. I don't think either of them mean treating others the way you think they should be treated more than it means holding them as high in regards that you do yourself. (maybe more to do with the honor they deserve more than exactly what they prefer). you know, their concerns become your concerns, not to the point that you don't think of yourself but to the point you esteem them higher than yourself. more worthy of love, honor, despite your own needs. (good picture: jesus). jesus managed this without pleasing everyone, moreso pleasing his father, yet still managing to put others before himself. so i don't think the rules speak of necessarily doing what another wants exactly, as much as it means being more willing to do what is absolutely best for them because your heart is geared toward they're value rather than your own.
also worthy of mentioning, or so i believe, is that if all the scripture were clear and needed no explanation, for one, they would hold only one level of revelation, which the scriptures have much more to reveal than just one thing in a sentence. im sure this is the part that annoys you, but the one i believe God saw fit in the purpose that if we could understand it all it would not lead us into relationship with him. if we need understanding, maybe then we will seek him and begin an intimacy that both gives us answers and brings us together with him, which i think is what he really wants from his rules:)
love.
I'll take the secular, "higher" textual analysis.
I think you are reading it a bit to specifically. It doesn't say to treat others in the exact manner that you want to be treated at all times. I've gotten myself into worlds and worlds of trouble by not recognizing that other people can't handle the type and manner of criticism, comedy, etc that I do.
To really mature this statement as it involves the real world is to really boil down how you want to be treated. You want to be bitter and sarcastic, and you occasionally want to be alone. You would prefer if people would respect these times. The basics of how you really want to be treated is with respect?
This takes out the necessity of both doing EXACTLY what you would like others to do to you, and also you needing to do EXACTLY what others need. It is a first step in finding a middle ground. The second, in my oh so very humble opinion, is realizing exactly the effect that you have on others, and communicating that the times that you are prickly and need to be alone doesn't mean you don't care for and respect them.
And for the record, if you ever figure out the secret to being perfect at all of this, just let me know, I will steal it.
I'd agree with most of what was said. I think Jesus meant to treat people with love, because we want to be treated with love. But the way they want to be loved differs. I heard about this book that came out this summer that talked about the "languages of love". There were about five, i think. They were things like some people recognize love through giving and getting gifts. Others, through language, a nice complement or something (I'm totally this one). Still others, by having someone do something for you, like make you breakfast. Others through physical touch. It really has helped me to realize that I receive love through words, and so I try to give love through words. This doesn't always work. My roommate, for example, recognizes love more through gifts. So now, instead of trying to just tell her how awesome she is, I tell her that but as I'm giving her a gift. And I'll be darned if that doesn't touch her more.
This of course is psychological and not theological and does still leave some ambiguity and I think this is what frustrates you. This ambiguity is a direct result of original sin- it wasn't only our bodies and souls that were affected by original sin, but also our minds were darkened. So I think you're right that we can't know all the time how we should treat people. It is a grace to know how to handle each person on a particular day. I feel that God gives this grace to some people more than others- but also when a soul gets close to Him who knows all things, He will tell them.
This brings up another question- is it a sin to not tell someone how you feel if they are trying to express love to them? I'm thinking of the very human example of a wife who doesn't feel like receiving the love of her husband in sex, but instead of just saying that she claims to have a headache, or is just mopey and says "i don't feel like it". I feel like when someone is trying to express love, sexual or not, and you reject it with no explanation, that might be a sin.
Sorry for the rediculously long rant! I'm pretty exhausted. But it was certainly an interesting question you posed.
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