Friday, October 31, 2008

All my mistakes have become masterpieces

It's been a different kind of fall than those in recent memory.

I'm back in central Pennsylvania, where the leaves are fiery and the stars are inches from your face on the right kind of night. Most everyone seems slightly annoyed, perhaps because the sudden drop from crisp and clear to cold and blustery came before they could completely unpack their winter clothes and stock up on hot chocolate and tea.

The Philadelphia Phillies have just won the World Series. This is as earth-shattering an event as any I have encountered. It was big when the Diamondbacks knocked off Mariano Rivera in 2001, when the Red Sox and White Sox won their first titles in a lifetime in back to back years, and as a Maryland resident, when the Baltimore Ravens won the Super Bowl back before Kerry Collins was washed up for the second time and Ray Lewis hadn't been mentioned in murder cases. But never has one of my teams won a championship, and for a team from Philadelphia (where I am more comfortable than nearly anyone else) to win is something that made me tear up. The city hadn't had a title in any of the four major professional sports since the 76ers won the NBA title in 1983. The Phillies themselves are even more endearing than nearly any other team. In nearly 130 seasons of play, they have lost more games than any professional team in any sport in North America, over 10,000 losses. They would need two completely undefeated seasons (162-0) before they pulled above .500 all time. On top of this, they had just one title, in 1980, in those 130 seasons. Until now. Beautiful.

There is a presidential election happening in four days, and an enormous one at that, one that will almost certainly end up being the most important of our lifetime. I've watched a man who I rarely agreed with but who was the politician I respected the most, both for his heroic life and his record of voting for what he thought was right whether or not that was popular, become someone who I never agree with and who I do not respect at all in a matter of a month or so. As John McCain wrapped up the Republican nomination, I thought it was safe that we would be getting a great leader no matter the outcome of the general election. Since the RNC, this hope has tanked as McCain and his campaign use highly irresponsible scare tactics, hinting at Obama's ties to terrorists among other things. The old McCain would have never done this... though we can always count on Christians to swing below the belt, be hateful and fear-mongering in order to push their own agenda. As my friend Brian said, I doubt very strongly that Mr. Whitaker from Focus on the Family's "Adventures in Odyssey" videos I watched as a kid, would agree with this letter from the future that was found on the Focus on the Family website and was later discussed on CNN. It makes me sad that so many Christians choose to be hateful. Jesus didn't hate. Though Jesus never had to listen to Kenny G...

But this fall isn't completely different. Halloween is tonight, which means that "the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it" is here. That's pretty consistent. The Redskins have a new offense for the fourth time in five seasons. My fingers lose circulation when I play ultimate. The Charlie Brown specials start and run through New Year's. Movie nights happen more and more often, with more people piled under more blankets.

And memories of autumns long gone descend on me. A deep breath will remind me of Icy Hot and shorts that showed off our bright white legs in a long thigh-high stripe across the starting line. Knit blankets remind me of basement couches that I haven't seen in years, and that may well have been in a dumpster not long after I left them. Cigarette smoke mixing with fog from a cold mouth, a cloud with every exhale.

And there comes a time,
You must stay in the moment while your heart's still bleeding
And there comes a time,
When you must walk away though your heart's still beating.

Who is to say who wins or who loses?
I sing to myself at the end of the day when I know
what the blues is.
And all my mistakes have become masterpieces.
All my mistakes have become masterpieces.

3 comments:

Jeff said...

wanna come over sometime?

Devin C. Manzullo-Thomas said...

You write beautifully.

Matthew said...

love teitur

(well the singer is whack but yeah first two were great)